So, I constantly feel as if my efforts in basically all of my classes aren't substantial since I don't have the same amount of background in any of the subjects of my classes. Within the first week or so of my classes, I was asked to define rhetoric, encourage students to attend the writing center, and even reply to chapters in my class books about linguistics and teaching speakers of languages other than English. I'm pretty sure my definition for Rhetoric was something like, "A system of writing tools we use to tell stories", which is not necessarily incorrect, but it felt extremely simplistic in comparison to my cohorts' definitions. I managed to endorse the writing center pretty well as I was able to watch a presentation and basically regurgitate the given information, but as I had never tutored before that time, all of the information was synthetic bologna coming out of my mouth and it made me feel bad. As for replying to my course books, I've managed to receive comments such as "excellent", "nice point", or "good start", but it becomes more prominent that I'm receiving comments such as "okay for credit", or "needs more information, explanation, etc." While I've conferenced in depth about my shortcomings in relation to my lack of English background to both professors and comrades, the encouragement is often in vain. Recently I decided to confide in a friend outside of the department so as to get a different point of view; this turned out to be the most helpful, if not probably the most child-like answer thus far. After she commented on the fact that my peers have all been in a position similar to mine at some point or another and it certainly will not be the last, she proceeded to sing the "We're all in this together" song form High School Musical. Needless to say, the dancing was included. To quote my friend, "You can't be a dance major and not dance when you sing!" While she was being a tad silly in her response, her point was strong, understood, and not taken lightly. After getting to know my classmates and professors a like, I've come to understand a bit more how people in the "English World" work. While I'm not an expert, and probably never will be, I'm sure my surrounding classmates-turned-friends will encourage one another, uplift each other, and push through our next few years together like the "Wildcats" I know we all are inside :)
While I have never seen a High School Musical movie (so I can't appreciate the full song/dance that your friend provided), I agree with her advice. My background is in English (B.A.) and Rhetoric (M.A.). The information that I am bringing to the Applied Linguistics PhD program are simply things I remember from my linguistics class, SLA classes, independent research, and research for my thesis. At the beginning of the semester it was really difficult remembering vocabulary terms that were being used by classmates and instructors while I was like, "I recognize the context that this is found in, but if they ask me for the definition I am in trouble." I'm slowly picking up the terminology again slowly but surely! We'll get there. We're still students. Learning is expected, so the idea of not being familiar with something should not only be anticipated but embraced. Why would we be here if not to discover something new?
ReplyDeleteI was actually talking to my mentor about this just yesterday. I don't have a strong foundation in rhetoric, and I'm expected to teach it! I'm not even 100% sure my freshman comp classes explicitly mentioned rhetoric at all (though my memory isn't exactly clear -- I was a freshman about 90 years ago). In many ways, I'm going to be learning the specifics of rhetoric along with my students. It does cause a little anxiety when I think about it -- I'm supposed to be the expert in the classroom, and all I *really* know about foundational rhetoric is what we've talked about in 601 and what I've seen my mentor teach in 103.
ReplyDeleteBut I think it's important to remember that, yes, we're instructors, but we're also students. We're allowed to learn. We're supposed to learn. Like you said, everyone has been in these situations before, and there's just a learning curve we have to get through.